El Juegos De Tarjeta/Transcript
Abridged Episode #9 Watch ← Previous Episode Next Episode → The one where Bakura tries (and fails) to become a main character. Cast (In order of appearance): Date: September 08, 2006 Running Time: 5:46 Episode Title: El Juegos De Tarjeta Transcript Intro Everything is in Spanish, with English subtitles NARRATOR: Previously on the Yu-Gi-Oh... TÉA: Ahh! JOEY: What is this new devilry? YUGI: Behold, it is the Bakura! JOEY: Hereupon, my fears are alleviated. TRISTAN: Bakura has been permitted the friendship. YUGI: You have a Millenium Item unexpectedly! YAMI BAKURA: Indeed, and with its powers I make my voice sound gruff and sexy. He takes them all to the Shadow Realm JOEY: Poor weather conditions? YUGI: This is an unfortunate turn of events! YAMI BAKURA: Yes. He makes everyone faint with his Millennium Ring YAMI BAKURA: All your puzzle are belong to me. He reaches for the Puzzle but it activates and Yami appears YAMI: Do Not Want! YAMI BAKURA: Oh no! Growth hormones! YAMI: How dare you tamper with my jewelry, villainous cur! YAMI BAKURA: The card game of us commences. YAMI BAKURA: Right after these words from our sponsor. Title sequence Yami and Evil Bakura's duel. They are speaking English now. YAMI BAKURA: Once I gain all seven Millenium Items, I shall use their vaguely established powers to destroy the world! But first, I'm going to beat you in a card game. YAMI: Not if I can help it, you albino cream puff! I summon the Cyber Commander, which by the way is Tristan's favourite monster, even though he never actually plays this game. The Cyber Commander is Tristan TRISTAN (still in his new voice) I'm suprisingly buff! YAMI: By the gods! That's exactly what I want to look like! YAMI BAKURA: White Magical Hat! Send his Cyber Commander to the Graveyard! YAMI: No! Tristan! He was the finest mind of our generation! I summon the Flame Swordsman! A.k.a., Joey's favourite monster. JOEY (he's the Flame Swordsman) Uh-oh. Have I been cross dressing in my sleep again? YAMI: It seems that Bakura has somehow placed our souls within each of our favourite cards. Either that, or he's turned you all into cosplayers. JOEY: That bastard! YAMI: By the way, Tristan's dead. JOEY: Oh, not again! YAMI: I also summon the Dark Magician! YUGI: (he's the Dark Magician) I look slightly more ridiculous than usual! YAMI: And now I activate Reborn the Monster! (caption appears: *Monster Reborn) In order to resurrect Tristan's original voice! TRISTAN: (in his original voice) Hey, what gives? I liked my new voice. People were starting to take me seriously. YAMI: Sorry Tristan, but it's much easier to make fun of you this way. JOEY: Wait a second. Why are there two Yugi's? YUGI: I'm not sure, but sometimes when I'm dueling, it's like I can feel a powerful voice inside my head telling me how to win! TRISTAN: Does that mean you've been cheating? YUGI: Well, it's more complicated than that.. JOEY: Sounds like cheatin' to me, Yug. YUGI: It's not cheating!! It's more like we have a spiritual connection that goes far beyond any- JOEY: Hey! Big Yugi! Has Little Yugi been cheatin' this whole time? YAMI *''nods''* YUGI: Oh you guys can all just go straight to hell. YAMI: Now I'll place Téa in face-down position. I've always wanted to say that! TÉA: (she's the Magician of Faith) This is just like something out of a bad fanfic! YUGI (thinking): If only she'd picked the Dark Magician Girl! Mmmm, Dark Magician Girl... YAMI BAKURA: Good luck overcoming my Man-Eater Bug. YUGI: One of us has to sacrifice himself in order to kill that monster! I nominate Tristan. TÉA: Seconded. JOEY: Don't worry Tristan, I always wanted to die wearing a dress. (he attacks the Bug and it takes him with it) I regret nothing! YAMI BAKURA: Soon I'll be the only character left! I've always wanted my own cartoon. And I think I'll call it "Zorc and Pals". The cartoon begins NARRATOR: (singing, the words he sings appear on screen) Who's that crazy kook destroyin' the world? It's Zorc! ZORC: That's me! NARRATOR: (singing) It's Zorc and Pals. YAMI BAKURA: Zorc, did you forget our anniversary- again? Canned laughter ZORC: Yes, I was too busy destroying the world. More canned laughter ZORC: I've slaughtered millions! Yet more canned laughter YAMI BAKURA: That's my Zorc! NARRATOR: (singing) The blood of the innocent will flow without end! His name is Zorc and he's destroyin' the world! Cartoon Ends YAMI BAKURA: What do you think, Pharaoh? YAMI: I think you'll be taken off the air faster than you can say "Arrested Development". TÉA: That was my favourite show.. Why did they have to cancel it? (cries) YUGI: Téa's tears activated her special ability, making her attack and defence points look completely innacurate! YAMI: Yes, and it also allows me to recycle Reborn the Monster! (*Still Monster Reborn) In the Graveyard JOEY: Please don't kill me! I have three best friends! Kill them instead! (He is transferred back to the duel) YUGI: It's okay Joey, my alter-ego brought you back to life with a Spell Card. TRISTAN: Just like our Lord Jesus. YAMI BAKURA: How many times do I have to kill you people before you stay dead? (reveals the Change of Heart card) YUGI: The Change of Heart! That's Bakura's favourite card! YAMI BAKURA: Yes, and with it I'm going to turn you into a villain! That way, you'll know what it's like to have your plans foiled time after time by a group of card-game-obsessed morons! YUGI: Look, it's the real Bakura! BAKURA: (he's the Change of Heart) I've taken control of this woman's body in order to save you guys. And I don't mind telling you it feels bloody great! YAMI BAKURA: By the gods, that's exactly what I want to look like! YAMI: Convieniently, my Millenium Puzzle allows me to put souls back into their original bodies. (he puts Bakura's soul back into his own body, and Evil Bakura's soul into the woman's body) YAMI BAKURA: How dare you defy me? Just wait until Zorc hears about this! YAMI: (in Mortal Kombat voice) FINISH HIM! YUGI: Super Special Awesome Attack! YAMI BAKURA: Oh, bugger me! (is sent to the Graveyard) YAMI BAKURA: I shall be a main character! Even if it takes me another two hundred bloody episodes. The duel is over and all characters return to their own bodies BAKURA: I say, that plot line made a lot more sense in the original manga. YUGI: Where did you get your evil ring from, Bakura? BAKURA: My father bought it while he was in Egypt looking to purchase some blue hair dye. JOEY: Man, I had the most unbelieveable dream. There were two Yugis, and Bakura was a main character! TÉA: I usually enjoy dreams that involve two Yugis, but that one was very dissapointing. MAI: (from far offscreen) My breasts are in danger! YUGO: Hey, that sounds like the plot for the next episode! Come on gang, lets go find out what is is! (They all run off and it cuts to a freeze-frame) TRISTAN: Oh no! The animtion budget ran out! End CARTOON NARRATOR: (singing) Who's that crazy kook destroyin' the world? It's Zorc! ZORC: That's me! ONSCREEN TEXT: about that delay NARRATOR: (singing) It's Zorc and Pals. Stinger: KAIBA: (as Strong Bad) TROGDOR!!!! TROGDOR!!!! Category:Abridged Transcripts